Seasons
by Komillia
Summary: No matter what changed and what remained, one thing was certain. You were always left trying to figure out everything you thought you already had figured out. [KiraxLacus, AthrunxCagalli, DearkaxMiriallia]


**_Seasons :_****_ Spring_**

**_By Komillia_**

**Notes**: Inspired to write this after watching the Fumoffu (Full Metal Panic season 2) opening and being too much of a Harry/Luna fan. I wanted to try and write something with the Gundam SEED characters as young people who were lucky enough to be alive after the war. This takes place after the battle of Jachin Due in Gundam SEED and it's a bit of an AU, since it probably won't fit in with SEED Destiny. I hope you'll all enjoy this and the next three parts as well. :)

**Disclaimer: **Gundam SEED, Gundam SEED Destiny and all the characters (sadly T.T) don't belong to me.

**¤¤¤**

Life was a strange thing. Just when you thought you had figured out how things worked, what you are and what you are meant to do, life throws in a few new twists. Some things remain, some things change. No matter what changed and what remained, one thing was certain. You were always left trying to figure out everything you thought you already had figured out.

On April 4th, a group of eight teenagers arrived confused and lost to their new homes. Despite their age, each one of them had fought with resolve and purpose that many adults lacked. Now, in a new and foreign country where it rained from the moment they arrived, they were supposed to start over, to figure things out again. Tall mean speaking with a heavy Scandinavian accent drove them into a small town where no one had ever heard their names before. They were given the proper documents, keys to their new homes and instructions on how to get in touch with their contact in the Scandinavian government or even family and friends in Orb if they needed to. With another set of instructions given, the men smiled at the young ones and wished them a heartily good luck before they drove off.

The final instruction had been how to start a new life away from war.

The first hour was purely chaotic. In their minds they doubted the decision they had made, perhaps it had not been such a good idea to take the offer. Perhaps they should have stayed with the Archangel, or in one's case, ZAFT. At least with that they had known what they were supposed to do and there was no need to figure things out. Ironically, the one who had most to figure out was the one who probably needed this new life most.

In the midst of all the talking and discussions between his friends, Kira had taken one look at his documents and felt something. It was not until later that he realized that the feeling was confusion.

The sense of confusion crept upon him so slowly that he did not even notice it until it had taken over him fully. He was not even sure of when it started. Perhaps it started the moment he stepped out of the car and taken the first look on the streets, the buildings and the trees that were all grayed because of the bad weather. He had held Lacus' hand and for the first time since they had met neither of them knew where to lead the other. It could have started when he went with Lacus to see the apartment she was going to share with Miriallia and Cagalli. He had seen the kitchen and thought of that time when his father had tried to cook breakfast for his mother as a surprise, tried being the key word.

Or perhaps it started when he entered his and Sai's apartment for the first time and they had discussed who was getting the bigger room. Maybe it was the next day when they went to help Athrun move into his apartment. Yzak had taken great joy in ordering his new roommates around and Athrun and Dearka obeyed him temporarily for the sake of peace. He had heard Yzak boasting rather gleefully that some were simply better than others when it came to rock, scissor and paper. Afterwards Yzak had ordered Athrun and Sai to carry his bed into his bedroom, the larger of the two in the apartment. The latter two complied after they had finished carrying a couch, also known as Athrun's new bed, into the living room. But the confusion Kira felt really hit him when he did a simple thing such as going to the store to buy groceries and seeing the newsstands with headlines screaming about the battle of Jachin Due.

Others who saw the headlines bought the newspaper, read it, followed the news on TV, said their prayers at night and discussed the tragedy over coffee breaks at work. Kira Yamato, on the other hand, saw the front page and remembered.

**¤¤¤**

"How are you feeling today?"

He was not sure how to answer that. What did he really feel? What was he supposed to feel? What was he supposed to answer? It was a constant conflict in his mind, trying to find an answer that fitted all three questions. But in the end he could not and her unanswered question lingered in the air as she carefully poured steaming tea into two delicate tea cups. The next time he looked at her, she was holding out a tea cup for him.

"Thank you," Kira mumbled and accepted the tea cup.

Lacus smiled in return and then proceeded to sip from her own cup. She had not said a word since asking him that simple question and in a way it was nothing less than he what he expected her. There was no pressure from her to answer the question right away, he could take his time. It was moments like those that Kira felt grateful and blessed to have her by his side.

"Perhaps it will stop raining tomorrow," Lacus said hopefully and looked out the window. "We might see the sun."

Kira followed her example but could not see what she did. When he looked out the window and at the sky he saw dark clouds covering every inch that should be blue and bright. It felt strange, not just to him but to everyone else. Whether they were used to the artificial sunlight in Heliopolis and PLANT or the natural sunshine in Orb it felt strange being in a place where everything was gray and cold. They had not seen the sun during the five days they had lived there. Kira vaguely recalled hearing Cagalli complain about water puddles and dirty snow left from the previous winter.

But again, he did not answer her. He did not wish to counter her hopes by interjecting rational thoughts into their conversation, even though it was mostly one sided.

**¤¤¤**

The days went on. Sometimes he felt like an outsider watching a movie, witnessing his friends slowly adapt to their new lives. For some it started with decorating their new rooms a little more and for others it was going out and just sitting at a café talking. Obsessive thoughts and needs to return to their previous duties faded, although every evening everyone sat gathered in Yzak, Dearka and Athrun's apartment and watched the evening news together. One particular night when the news had just finished broadcasting they all sat there together in silence, either watching the commercials or just deep in thought. There was a minute or two of silence, before Miriallia had reached for her Coke and said:

"I wonder how Captain Ramius is doing."

Those who knew Murrue Ramius let their thoughts drift to her for a moment. Last time they had seen her was on the Archangel. She had smiled bravely and rather than saluted, waved as they left the battered ship to start their new lives. At the moment they all wondered the same thing. When could Murrue Ramius shed her brave smile and instead cry and mourn her dearest friend and lover? When was it the captain's turn to think of herself as a person and not as a soldier, as they were supposed to do now?

Later that night he walked Lacus home, one hand casually in his pocket and the other holding up the umbrella between them. Each raindrop falling from the sky made dull noises as they struck the umbrella. Large puddles of water had formed everywhere and not three minutes after being outside did Kira notice how his feet were cold and wet. Looking up, he met the same sight as he had before. Dark clouds yet again.

Lacus, on the other hand, did not seem bothered at all by the rain. Her dress and jacket were both thin and she wore strapped ballerina shoes that offered little protection against water. But she carried herself with a half smile on her face, walking on cheerfully completely unbothered by the rain and the cold. If not for the fact that Kira was a coordinator himself and still froze, he would have thought that Lacus being a coordinator had something to do with it.

"I believe there might be a bit of sunlight tomorrow," she said out of the blue.

Kira stopped.

It took a moment for Lacus to notice it, she was already a few feet ahead when she turned around and looked at Kira. He stared at her, caught completely off guard by the simple words she had just said. But within those words lied something deeper, something that Kira could not understand. He stood there, frozen and eyes fixed on her.

"Kira? What's the matter?"

No answer from him again. But this time it was his turn to ask her a question.

"How can you believe that?" The words stumbled out of his mouth before he had the chance to think of what he was saying. "It's been raining and cloudy for three weeks... ever since we got here. How can you go through each day believing that there will be sunlight in the next?"

She was soaked now without the protection of the umbrella. Water dripping from her long mane and her clothes clung to her willowy figure. But either Lacus did not notice or she did not care, because she showed no sign of discomfort. Instead she met Kira's eyes fearless and after a moment where they did nothing but stare right into each other's eyes, her lips broke into another smile of hers.

"Because... there is a tomorrow and we are alive to experience it," she answered.

With that, she returned to his side and gently pulled his free hand out of his pocket.

She held onto his hand all the way home.

**¤¤¤**

It was difficult to say the impact her words had on him. In a way they changed everything and in another way they changed nothing. The next day it was still cloudy and while Kira sat by the kitchen table in his and Sai's apartment rain started to pour from above again. He even thought that he heard the rumbling sound of thunder once but after two hours there was nothing more of that or any sign of lightning. He did hear the sound of someone typing on a keyboard though. Sai sat in the living room and was concentrating on setting up his newly bought laptop.

It was Thursday. Lacus, Cagalli and Miriallia had gone off to shop for their apartment. Kira did not know where Athrun was but he assumed that he had gone with them seeing as Cagalli was less than reliable when it came to traffic. She was terrific at driving but it did not mean that she had the patience to put up with other drivers. Sai was busy with his computer and Kira did not wish to bother him. So he had gone into the kitchen and sat there ever since.

It was of common belief that someone who had sat as long as he had would have done a lot of thinking. The sad truth was that he had not. He had watched birds fly by, people running away from the rain, cars zooming past the building and played with a toothpick that was on the table. If there was something he had thought of it was about how blank he felt, that he could not even sit and do a little thinking. Perhaps it was an inner self mechanism, not allowing him to think because it was simply just too painful to think and remember everything thoroughly. But two hours of looking out the window in a daze was starting to get to him. His body felt stiff and ached from sitting in the same position for so long.

So he did the first thing that came to his mind.

"Sai?"

The young man pushed his glasses up slightly and looked up upon hearing his name. Kira was standing in the doorway to the kitchen, looking as uncertain as ever. Then suddenly, something changed. He showed a faint smile towards Sai.

"I'm going out for a walk," he told.

Sai smiled in return, his smile was slightly broader than Kira's.

"Glad to see you up and about."

An exchange of knowing looks between them was all that was needed. Kira walked through the living room and into the hallway, slipping into his shoes and pulling his jacket off the hanger. At that moment Sai looked over his shoulder and caught sight of the weather outside.

"Hey Kira... it's still raining outside!"

Kira had just put on his jacket when he heard Sai. He looked out the window, saw the grayness of the world outside and the water drops against the glass. With that image burned into his mind, he put his hand on the doorknob.

"I know... I'm hoping that the sun might come out soon."


End file.
